Im trying to stay innocent but how can i?

i am writing this out of great frustration

first of all, Assalamu alaikum wa rhamatu Allah

im not supposed to know about all the aspects of marriage or why boys like girls or why girls wear makeup outside even though they dont touch it at home (or maybe they do if the window is open). im not supposed to know about the bad stuff a guy can do to a girl (and woman) who is walking home alone. i shouldnt know any bad words and i should not be peer pressured to show my body and laugh in that high-pitched way and shake my hips in the street and smoke and deal with drugs and laugh when a person near me burps (or even worse) and
and
and
and
and
now i have to go because we are invited somewhere at 7 (lol, maybe in an hour we will get there) but i know that on the way, i will be thinking about how i could have been innocent, but i didnt get to enjoy innocence for a long time because....
i live in America.

Thoughts that Infuriate me

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatu lahi wa barakatuhu

Before ungratefuly nagging about all the fitan in my life like i was planning to do right now, I would like to mention the Fiqh of Love class taught by Sheikh Waleed Basyouni (his wife is the owner of the blog "Desired Remission") It is a double weekend degree seminar (which means you can actually get a degree in Islamic Studies if you take it along with other degree classes). It is actually aimed at an audience of 17+, people who would probably be looking for partners or already married. I'm sure they didn't have me and my sister in mind, but with Allah's will, we'll end up there anyhow. starting from feb. 12-14 and the next weekend. Friday is free! if you register before feb 1st, its 135$. but after that, it's like 175 or something. yes, there are scholarships. a lot of accomadations if you're coming from out-of-town. God, i love Almagrib so much, im offering free advertisements on my blog. Anyway, that was the nice part (see almaghrib.org)

now the "Thoughts that Infuriate me"

1. No matter how much more peanut butter and protein i consume, i shall probably remain this short forever. or atleast, until i get to jannah...heh heh, then ill get back at people who made fun of my height. or maybe by then, ill be too happy to care about any of them. yeah, thats probably it. (PB actually makes u taller, said my grandfather)
2. if a month ago was my chance to wear niqab, i blew it.
3. i dont appear to be at all related to America (from the outside and inside) but trying to convince "khalas" "aunties" and "tantus" that I am a purebred masry is NOT working.
4. my 82+ neighbor could actually die anyday now, and I still haven't gotten around to telling her about Islam.
5. Does wanting to go to a movie theater for once even though i know it's haram make me a bad person? my dad would nod enthusisastically if he read this. my mom'd be like "habibty, there's good in everyone. no one can be all bad" which doesn't really answer the question.

Random hadith:

The Prophet Muhammad once said:
"Allah the Almighty has said: 'Whosoever acts with enmity towards a close servant of Mine (wali), I will indeed declare war against him. Nothing endears My servant to Me than doing of what I have made obligatory upon him to do. And My servant continues to draw nearer to Me with supererogatory prayers so that I shall love him. When I love him, I shall be his hearing with which he shall hear, his sight with which he shall see, his hands with which he shall hold, and his feet with which he shall walk. And if he asks (something) of Me, I shall surely give it to him, and if he takes refuge in Me, I shall certainly grant him it." (Al-Bukhari)

I have a LOT to say, subhanallah

peace be upon all u peoplz!

5 top things right now:
-my bff told me recently that she is actually following my blog (reading it!) and i realized that if i want to impress her, i should at least write more than once a month.
-i read this awesome book called "The Gospel According to Larry" and i got soo many ideas about my blog and i still have to think about how im gonna start.
-the digital alarm clock on my bedstand-thingy is 4 minutes ahead (that explains why i am starting to get to places on time for a change)
-i finished all my 60 hours of community service in 2 months (well..68.5 hours) and now resemble Mother Teresa (my dad said that and im still trying to "get it")
-my computer applications teacher is a mrs. "youngblood"


okey-dokey-artichokey
now five things i have to change about myself by same time next week:

1. remember to read ayatul kursi after every salah
2. sleep early
3. finish surat al naml
4. register for fiqh of love (even though im not 17) before feb. 1st
5. convince my parents that its ok for friends to hang out at a mall (though i doubt ill have much luck-or qadar, whichever is more islamically right)

ok then, this is helping me get my thoughts out. after reading the aforementioned book, i decided that my blog should have a message to it. A certain slogan or motto that i stand by: a purpose. so far it has been one of the hundreds of things i have to squish in my not-so-busy 12-hour days. it should be more than that. it started off a whole "not afraid to show who i really am" type of thing. now, its a little different. i think i might actually be afraid to show who i really am. inside. deeep down. i have a question for you guysos-who-never-comment-on-my-blog (excluding those who actually comment of course):

SO FAR, WHAT DO YOU FEEL HAS BEEN THE OVERALL MESSAGE THAT MY BLOG GIVES? i wanna know how you gals think of me. so yeah. ok, i think Isha time came in already. or maybe its already out. i dont know. its still dark outside. lol. just kidding. did you know that the later you pray Isha, the more thawab you get, insha'allah? Thanks again, sheikh Yasir.

9-ty night (i know that doesnt make sense probably, but im too tired to explain) see you soon! wait...see you soon...jannah?

i have 3 mins to write this

salams


hope to write this really fast so i might make some mistakes so just forgive me peoples.
first od all wanted to say that there are two websites that i want you guiyz to lake a looka at ok?

http://muslimmatters.org/2010/01/06/thoughts-in-the-wake-of-the-latest-terror-scare/

amazing article loved it laughed from it. hope you like it too
second
http://www.muslimahsource.org/activism-media/muslimahs-guide-to-high-school-survival/#comment-12376

really helps if you are anywhere in highschool, near a highschooler, aor anything. just plain nice. quite interesting. so my minutes almost up mught have to stop out of nowhere so just be prepared for that ok and know thay i am writinf reall fast now so dorry about it all. time almosy up/

2010 and 2012

Assalamu alaikum

Several things i wanted to mention. wait..first, I want to change the font. Much better. I hope. Anyway, has anyone watched the movie 2012? My friend watched it for me and she was telling me how the idea was pretty similiar to Islam. Like, the idea is that everything is destroyed (almost yawmil qiyammah) and there was nothing left of anything. Then she was like, there was one thing that stayed up-and that was the ka'bah. Everything got destroyed except for the ka'bah which stayed in it's place. That got me thinking about what they meant by that and whether the people who made the movie had a certain idea in mind. i might never find the answer to that.

Also, I wanted to share this hadith that I found at this link: and it says how the ka'bah will actually be destroyed sometime before yawmil qiyamah:
http://www.sunnah.org/nl/v0102/letters.html

The Ka'bah will retain its present structure until it is destroyed by "Dhus-Suwayqatayn" from Ethiopia as mentioned in Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurayrah (ra) who said the Prophet (saws) said: "The Ka'bah will be destroyed by Dhus-Suawayqatayn (that is literally, a man with two lean legs".2
There is also another narration on the authority of 'Abdullah Ibn 'Amr Ibn al-'As (ra) who said: "I heard the Prophet (saws) : 'A man from Ethiopia with two lean legs will destroy the Ka'bah, take away its treasures and remove its covers. As if I were looking at him, he is a bald man with crooked arms and legs who is attacking the Ka'bah with his iron shovel and pickaxe."3
this will occur after the appearance of "Ya'juj and Ma'juj" (Gog and Magog) as mentioned in Sahih al-Bukhari quoting Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (ra) that the Prophet (saws) said: "the people will continue performing Hajj and Umrah even after the appearance of Gog and Magog".4

1 Sahih (al-Bukhari 1/44, 491, 3/197, 4/412; Muslim 4/99-100; at-Tirmidhi 1/66 and Ibn Majah,2955. See al-Albani's As-Sahihah 1/43).
2 Sahih
3 Sahih (al-Bukhari and Muslim. See al-Mishkat, no. 2721)
4 Sahih

It saddened me that the kabah will actually be destroyed again. :( I hope I don't have to witness that. Also, there is an awesome Ilminar (it's an AlMaghrib thing where you attend a free class online. Online seminar with ilm (knowledge) is ilminar).

It is about the fiqh of food and clothing. Just amazing, masha'allah. You guys can listen to it too. more info at this link (the teacher is the best!)

http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?p=471966#post471966

salams for know, I wanna have breakfast.