I've gone for college......I hope to go to Jannah.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Overall topic: Studying

Peace be upon all of you

I was just contemplating the phrase 'I'm studying' (partly because I shouted it 50 times today whenever a bang/bing/bong/you-name-it went off in the kitchen. I don't know why my family can't live in peace) At what point are we actually studying? Does studying consist of the information going into your head or just a pretend portrayal, an acting of the scene of studying? Because I feel like I never study...oh well, I'm not sure where I was going with this.

The truth is, I am liking school very much. It gives you something productive to do and keeps you on the path of achieving a tangible goal, earning a diploma. How would school be like if they didn't give diplomas? Would anyone show up to school? If that was the way the world worked...if anyone could attend the best university and get that knowledge, but not have the bragging rights or the degree to wave under the noses of others...would anyone seek the knowledge anyways?

I think not, because people only go to schools now to get jobs. I would say I am guilty of this mistake. Because if it wasn't so important to go to school, I would stay at home and do what I do on an average summer. I would do house chores and bake. I would join a soccer team and train professionally. I would go to skate parks every day and just have fun on the ramps. I would eventually save money to build my own skate ramp so that my skirt doesn't always lead to my downfall...literally. I would teach anyone who wanted to know something I knew and I would travel the world. I would learn a new language every year and spend a year in a country that speaks it. Mostly, I would take Islamic seminars and attend all islam-related lectures on things that interest me...and definitely Al Maghrib classes :) I want to work for the Khan Academy and do anything just as long as I'm part of something that great. I guess overall this would be the kind of life I would like to have...if we lived at the time of the prophet (S).

Well, that doesn't make sense because most of these things wouldn't exist...okay, I guess I'm really happy with my life right now because even though I tried to describe my funnest life ever, it sounds really boring. Even the traveling part. I think that's because it's missing family. Life is so sad without family. Speaking of family, they all went to sleep. And tomorrow is a big day insha'Allah. Actually, it's EID! well...just for our MSA. Yes, we celebrate Eid a week before Eid. I can't help but feel we missed the point. We're supposed to work hard in thul-hijjah and celebrate our hard work later. What we are doing is very different...I'm not even sure what it is. Like, what are we celebrating...? Hajj just started.

Well, I'll leave you with some advice, that I'm just copying and pasting from somewhere else. Eat halal Chinese food. It's really good. Oh and study what you love. You have to love it so much that you take extra time to study it more. Because if you are sitting down to work your brain..to do something more difficult than sitting there doing nothing....voluntarily...then masha'Allah, you're pretty motivated...and insha'Allah you're gonna have a great life :)

I don't even know where to start

There has been so much going on. I'm afraid I'm too attached to this world. Because I'm having too much fun.

To begin with, my computer science midterm is next week. And I am freaking out. Like seriously....my studying time is now just making duaa, because studying is useless at this point. Ok that's an exaggeration and I want to teach myself to stop. It's not hard but I just don't get it.

They get you this weird shape ('fractal') and it's like a bunch of boxes or something and they want you to write a code recursively for n=0,1,2,3, etc. My problem is that I overthink and I can't abstract anything. So I sit there thinking about every single step...plus I get oeverwhelmed easily I think. Mainly I just want to understand how it knows where to do the recursion? If we keep bringing it back to the front, then how can it....oh! I just got it! Ya Allah I understand now! I'm going to go solve this problem in my head and then continue this, okay? okay, salam :)

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Social Intelligence and My Awkwardness

I can't cross a street. I can't walk with a group of people. I can't just walk into a Peet's and order coffee.

I mean, I can do these things.

But I would get hit by a car, bump into like five guys and three girls (when I put in a conscious effort to avoid the guys), and spill the coffee on my new hijab respectively.